I think scott just propositioned me for sex
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
