Soap is not a condiment
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
