we're blogging at a bar
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
