When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
