I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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