your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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