Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
