I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it glows. i had to have it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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