Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
