No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
