your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
