College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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