I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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