she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize