plz talk dirty to me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
