also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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