If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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