is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
