You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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