You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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