this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
