upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize