If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
did you just send me my own nude
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
