he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize