She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize