she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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