Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
