Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
