i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
