i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
