The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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