Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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