I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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