he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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