it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
People in love make me want to vomit
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
