Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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