i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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