We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
50% drunk capacity currently
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
