sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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