Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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