he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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