Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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