one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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