just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
