Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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