i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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