i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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