I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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