Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
