Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
