im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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