I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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