i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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