Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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