i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize