Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
