even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
