How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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