all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
