i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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