I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize