i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I could fuck to npr.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize